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Self-harm is usually a hidden activity which young people feel ashamed of; the last thing they want is attention. They often don’t tell friends or family what’s happening and are unlikely to actively seek help, because of low self-esteem and stigma.

Despite its appearance as self destructive, direct research with young people tells us that not only are they not attempting suicide when they self harm, they are doing it to avoid it. It’s a way of keeping alive, of managing feelings – actually more a sign of hope than despair. In that way they experience it as therapeutic.

A person who uses self-harm may not see it as a problem since it forms a way of coping with emotional pain. Others may find this difficult to understand.

Inflicting physical pain may bring some emotional relief:

Our bodies release natural, opiate-like endorphins in response to physical pain that temporarily relieve emotional pain and distress

Making the preparations to inflict self-injury can provide some distraction from distressing thoughts and feelings ( a type of ritual)

Self-harm offers a way of expressing emotional pain and distress to oneself and/or to others. Some people may wish to attract help and others will hide their injuries

Some people feel emotionally numb or dead inside and so may inflict pain in order to ‘feel’

Self-harm is often associated with low self-worth and can be an expression of anger and self-loathing. Any sense of relief is temporary and is often followed by fear or anxiety about the injuries inflicted and shame or guilt about the act or its consequences.

University of Westminster (2018)

https://www.westminster.ac.uk/sites/default/public-files/general-documents/Self-harm-and-suicide-thoughts_Mind-Matters.pdf